Monday, September 3, 2012

Free Association

In my younger days (yeah, yeah, I know, 30 is SO old) I used to journal frequently and write poetry. The older I get, the less I seem to do either. I think my blog (does anyone else picture a big leopard frog when they say blog? Bllllog. Bllloooog. Blloooogger. No? Just me? Figures.) has become a digital catharsis of sorts. I don't have much time to myself anymore, but I can sit and thumb out a blog on my phone with one thumb while I rock Punky to sleep. And it seems to work nearly as effectively as putting pen to paper. Nearly. I originally was hand writing my letters to Punky, but switched over to an electronic format for those- I thought the type would hold up better than the pencil versions. I do still hand write cards, thank yous, and other notes.

While the leather bound journal seems somehow more personal and therapeutic, I'll gladly spend a few extra minutes with my daughter by short cutting on the keyboard. I think I've also learned other coping mechanisms. I no longer solely depend on writing to be my outlet and problem processing procedure.

So I sit, rocking and thumbing in the light of a nightlight, letting Punky play with my hair as she struggles to drift off to sleep. Someday, when she's a little older and more independent, perhaps I will return to my half-used red leather (or more likely imitation leather) journal. Side note, since Ivan free associating tonight- I LOVE journals. I love looking at them. I have to resist the urge to buy new ones because I know I currently have three containing various writings. None of which are the novella I am someday going to finish...which reminds me, finishing it should be on my bucket list. I like lists too- so many ways to organize them: by due date, by priority, alphabetically, by difficulty...

Why is this child not asleep yet? Poor child inherited my difficulty falling asleep, I fear. I think we are now at the too tired to sleep stage. And her little fingers are starting to get tangled in my hair- ouch! That reminds me, I need a haircut. Hmm, keep it short or let it grow out again....