Sunday, December 14, 2014

Rest in Me

"Rest in Me, My child, forgetting about the worries of the world. Focus on Me- Emmanuel- and let My living Presence envelop you in Peace. Tune in to My eternal security, for I am the same yesterday, today, and forever. If you live on the surface of life by focusing on ever-changing phenomena, you will find yourself echoing the words of Soloman: 'Meaningless! Meaningless! Everything is meaningless!'

"Living in collaboration with Me is the way to instill meaning into your days. Begin each day alone with Me, so that you can experience the reality of My Presence. As you spend time with Me, the way before you opens up step by step. Arise from the stillness of our communion, and gradually begin your journey through the day. Hold My hand in deliberate dependence on Me, and I will smooth out the path before you."

December 14 
Jesus Calling
Sarah Young

"Sometimes we feel so beaten down by life, battered by outside circumstances over which we have no control. During these unwelcome storms, fear begins to permeate our inner being. Seeing no way out, we may fall into depression and enter into self-preservation mode by withdrawing into ourselves. But in doing so, we cut ourselves off from those who would give us aid and comfort. 

"Fortunately, God has other plans. He knows what we need and lovingly provides it. He 'comforts the downcast' by sending earthly 'angels' to help us. These people of God, Tituses among us, give freely of God's love and fill us with the healing balm of His comfort.

"In the midst of distress, we are not to withdraw from God's helping hand but to immerse ourselves in His Word and reach out to others, allowing both to give us love and comfort in our time of need. And then, while once more, we in turn can be a Titus for another."

Day 10
3-Minute Devotions for Women
Daily Devotional Journal

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Prince of Peace

"I am the Prince of Peace. As I said to My disciples, I say also to you: Peace be with you. Since I am your constant Companion, My Peace is steadfastly with you. When you keep your focus on Me, you experience both My Presence and My Peace. Worship Me as King of kings, Lord of lords, and Prince of Peace.
"You need My Peace each moment to accomplish My purposes in your life. Sometimes you are tempted to take shortcuts, in order to reach your goal as quickly as possible. But if the shortcut requires turning your back on My peaceful Presence, you must choose the longer route. Walk with Me along paths of Peace; enjoy the journey in My Presence."
Jesus Calling (December 2)- Sarah Young

Today's writing reminds me of this song:

Monday, December 1, 2014

Gray day

I called in sick today. Something I very rarely do. And I'm not even sick, well, not exactly. I've been doing this gluten free thing for almost a year now. And it helped- at first. But my symptoms have returned. Not quite as frequent as before, but still they have returned. And last night was a particularly bad episode that left me awake most of the night. So I called in sick to have a day to myself to recover. Wouldn't you know, now I feel guilty. That I'm laying in bed mid morning still in my pajamas not working. And my kid is at the babysitter's. I hacked and coughed and sneezed and sniffled for three weeks, and showed up to work every day. But today I wasn't sure I could handle running after or restraining a child. I wasn't sure I could help parents with their parenting of difficult children. Why should I feel guilty? I have PTO for a reason! But I do. Because I'm not really sick. And I just had a four day weekend. And I sent my kid away. And it is raining and I want the Huz to be here curled up playing hooky with me so we can spend a rainy day watching movies like we always said we would do and never have done. And I want to feel good enough to go pick up my kid early and do something fun together. But I'm not. And I did. And he's not. And I don't. 

The cat is smiling that I'm home and in bed. (Literally, he is sprawled out of the bed next to me and looks like he is smiling.) The dog is whining in her crate (sorry pup, I can't trust you unsupervised yet). Time to put away the guilt, I can't un-take the sick day now. Maybe one day I will get answers or find the miracle cure for my ailments that all seem to contribute to one another. At least the weather suits my mood and I'm not missing out on a beautiful sunshiny day.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Introvert dream or nightmare?

I am coming up on the 90 day mark at my new job and am feeling like I kinda sorta almost know what all the job entails. I'm not completely overwhelmed anymore (just partially!), even though I still see at least one face a day that I do not recognize. It is weird working for a company that employs more than 20 people!
I go through some sessions feeling like "I've got this!" But others leave me wondering when I will ever feel like I know what I am doing. I have to develop a new style, a new way of connecting, a new way of sharing what I do know. Not all the people I am working with WANT to be here or know WHY they have to be. My heart broke a little when one parent couldn't identify a single strength of their child or one thing they liked about their kid. It is exhausting on a different level than my previous positions. I am excited to be here and can see how much I am going to grow from this position. But in my little (and I do mean little- I have to move furniture to be able to open my file cabinet!) office at the end of the hall, it feels a little lonely in this big old place. Especially after the kids go home and there are no screams echoing through the halls. Still feeling like the new kid on the block, my introverted self wants to hide out in my cozy little space and lose myself in the mountain of paperwork. Perhaps it is time to bake my way into the hearts of my coworkers....

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Trust Me

Trust Me in the midst of a messy day. Your inner calm- your Peace in My Presence- need not be shaken by what is going on around you. Though you live in this temporal world, your innermost being is rooted and grounded in eternity. When you start to feel stressed, detach yourself from the disturbances around you. Instead of desperately striving to maintain order snd control in your little world, relax and remember that circumstances cannot touch My Peace.

Seek My Face, and I will share My mind with you, opening your eyes to see things from My perspective. Do not let your heart be troubled, and do not be afraid. The Peace I give is sufficient for you.

Jesus Calling (Sarah Young) August 26

Peace I leave you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid. John 14:27

I have said this to you, so that in me you may have peace. In the world you face persecution. But take courage; I have conquered the world! John 16:33

Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually. Psalm 105:4

Monday, July 28, 2014

When I Grow Up

I have been neglecting my blog again. When I started it way back whenever I thought it would be a great way for me to start writing. Again. More. Whatever. Turns out there just aren't enough hours in the day and writing, blogging, takes a backseat. Sure, I have a book of poetry waiting to be published. Sure, I have the plot of a novella outlined. Sure, I have titles to the series of children's books I want to write. But the only writing I've dobe recently is a home study, which I did not really enjoy simply because it required a format that is poor writing. I don't want to use the words describes, reported, stated any time soon!

I think I had this idea that writing would be a fun way to use my creative juices and blow off steam- my own personal therapy. But in reality, if you want to be a writer it can't be a part time gig. There has to be time dedicated to it. Daily. And right now my life does not allow that. Maybe someday. When I grow up. 

For now, I settle for the occasional blog post. The card mailed to a friend. My infrequent journaling when something is weighing on me. My trusty friend comes out when I feel that inner restlessness about something. Maybe that is why I am secretly obsessed with pens and notebooks, because I know I will always NEED to write from time to time. I love to lose myself in a good book, but writing does something for me that reading cant't. That talking can't. An utter rawness that is hard to achieve in conversation. 

And someday, when I retire, I WILL become a real life writer.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

On a Roll, a Reading Roll

I love to read. Have for as long as I can remember. But sometimes I'm not in the mood to read (*gasp* I can't believe I just said that!) and other times there simply are not enough hours in the day to do all the reading I want to do.

Most of May was one of those time when I just couldn't get settled down to read. Maybe it was the 20-some episodes of Bones on the DVR. Maybe it was stress. Maybe I just wasn't interested in the books I had started. But whatever the reason, the reading drought ended. I got back in the swing of reading. In the last 10 days I have finished five books. Two of those five I also started in the last 10 days! That MIGHT be a new record for me. At least a new record while being a mother working two jobs!

So what did I read?
Clockwork Angel (of the YA fantasy- vampire- genre)
What to Expect the Toddler Years (very informative if you have a toddler or work with toddlers or might someday have a toddler)
Sharp Objects (dark and screwed up. I liked it!)
Dorothy and the Wizard in Oz (I am slowly working my way through the complete Wizard of Oz collection, did you know there was more than one story?)
The Perks of Being a Wallflower (yes, I saw the movie first. I still liked the book. And want to watch the movie again.)

So what's next? Well, I still have four in progress:
Queen Bees and Wannabes (the book that inspired the movie Mean Girls, I can only read a little at a time because I find it a little depressing how mean females can be to each other, lots of good info in it though)
James Potter and the Hall of Elders' Crossing (which disappeared from my GoodReads ebooks, so I guess I'm not really reading it right now)
Pride and Prejudice (I just cannot get into this one- and it is SO long!)
Ever Since I had my Baby (again, good info, but hard to read more than a little at a time. I think I might have been better off NOT knowing what childbirth could do to my body...)

So I think I'll start the next Clockwork book. And maybe the next Wizard of Oz book. Or maybe something entirely different... 

Either way, I am on a reading roll right now and am halfway to my goal of completing 50 books this year!

Friday, May 30, 2014

High quality H2O

It's been several weeks since I've joined in the Friday Fill-In over at www.feelingbeachie.com. Time to jump in again!

Statements:
1) I drink ____ in the AM.
2) I read _____.
3) Sometimes I wonder ___ but then ____.
4) Given the choice between ___ and ___ I'd pick ____.

Answers:
1) I drink water in the AM. And PM!
2) I read books, lots of books!
3) Sometimes I wonder if I will survive the terrible twos but then my two year old gives me a hug and says "I love you."
4) Given the choice between a beach vacation and a mountain one I'd pick the beach, 9 times out of 10!

Monday, May 26, 2014

Misadventures in Baking

Little known fact (ha! As if there are any little known facts about me!) I'm thrifty. (Okay, cheap.) I love a good bargain. I'm about one step away from one of those ultimate couponers (granted it's a big step- I need time to learn how to do it and time to actually do it!). I hate to waste food. So when I was baking up a new recipe of cupcakes I decided I would use up the leftover icing from the last batch. But I didn't think green icing would be quite right for Coca cola cupcakes with a vanilla coke cream filling. 
But I had a plan! Throw in some cocoa powder, make it chocolatey and cover up the green color too. Well, let's just say this wasn't one of my more brilliant ideas. The transformation process wasn't pretty! The bright green morphed into a horrible brownish green and then a greenish brown before an acceptable brown color was achieved. Then it was time to put it on the cupcakes. I was out of pastry bags, so I used a ziplock. No fancy star tip this time. Mistake! I'm sure my child filling her diaper at the same time as I was piping the frosting didn't help, but these were cupcakes that were never going to look appetizing to me! 
Wonder if there is a market for poocakes...

Friday, May 2, 2014

So it has been a while since I have posted. Life just seems to keep me too busy. Time to jump back in with feelingbeachie.com's Friday Fill-In.

This week's statements:
1) I really ______ in the early a.m.
2) I wish the _____ would always stay _____.
3) _____ is my favorite place when I am _____.
4) If I hear _____ one more time, I will ____.

My answers:
1) I really need to sleep better in the early a.m.
2) I wish the weather would always stay nice.
3) Lakeside is my favorite place when I am feeling sentimental.
4) If I hear Let it Go one more time, I will sing along.