I have goals, ambitions. I really do. Things I want to do or accomplish. And some days feel really good and like I am making progress. Other days... well, let's just say other days are harder.
Often I preach self-care to the parents I work with. I use the imagery of a pitcher and a cup. The parent is the pitcher and the child is the cup. A cup full of holes. As parent, your job is to fill the cup. But if you never stop to refill (self care) you run dry and then the cup runs dry. You can't give what you don't have.
I try to practice what I preach. Especially in my current job. It's hard. It's draining. The paperwork is endless.
The last couple weeks have been tough ones. Both at work and home. The Huz is still adjusting to the night shift (meaning he sleeps. A lot. At weird times.) and, to be honest, I am still adjusting too.
I think you could probably count the number of waking hours we have been together in the last two weeks on both hands. And have fingers left over. We've been coming and going more than normal. My second job, helping friends, Vacation Bible School, golf outing, etc.
I think the last couple of days have been more survival mode than anything else.
It is my first spring into summer transition at this job. Kids coming and going at different times. I went to get a kid today and even though he has been in the program 9 months, he has been on my caseload 9 days and I had no idea what he looked like. Whoops. And of course the 2 hours I set aside this morning for paperwork was fruitless because of network problems. I couldn't even get logged into my computer! Bah!
My tickets to a game arrived in the mail before I even told the Huz I was going (oh, hey, Sister, our tickets arrived!). In some ways, it seems like the Huz never came home from vacation, except for the fact that there is more laundry. (Oh the laundry! How can three human beings produce SO much laundry?!)
I haven't run. I haven't gotten out my yoga mat. I haven't taken the dog for a walk. I haven't crocheted (and I probably won't for a while since Punky shoved my hook so far into the skein of yarn that I can't find it and I'm going to have to undo my work and unwind the whole skein. Honestly, I'm just not looking forward to that. Maybe I'll buy a new hook instead....
I have been reading. Which says something about the book I'm into. Typically during times of stress I can't sit still long enough to read. I manically start trying to accomplish as much as possible only to stress myself out more. Maybe this indicates growth on my part. Or a REALLY good book.
Sometimes I kill a few minutes between sessions on Pinterest. I shouldn't do that. All the super moms (or should that be Super Moms? ) with all these amazing uses for toilet paper tubes who make their own side walk chalk and turn pillow cases into adorable dresses get me down. I call it a good day when dinner is something other than a grilled cheese before 7:30pm!
I want to make our own birdfeeders, I do. But half the time I can't remember to check if the store bought feeder has food in it!
So tonight, we aren't going to make birdfeeders, but we will have pizza and movie and popcorn night. And the Huz will snooze through the movie, but we will be together. No distractions, other than yelling at the dog to leave the kitten alone. A few hours, undisturbed. Finally.