Thursday, March 31, 2011

Inner Calm

So I've been reading this book ("The Seeking Heart" by Fenelon) at the recommendation of a colleague as a daily devotional. I've found it good, but nothing really jumped out at me. Until today...

Inner Calm
I hear you are having problems sleeping. You must wait for sleep in peace. If you let your imagination run away with you when you are trying to sleep, you may never get to sleep. I will not think that you are growing spiritually until I see that you have become calm enough to sleep peacefully without restlessness.
Ask God for calmness and inner rest. I know what you are thinking- that controlling your imagination does not depend on yourself. Excuse me, please, but it depends very much on yourself! When you cut off all the restless and unprofitable thoughts that you can control, you will greatly reduce all those thoughts which are involuntary. God will guard your imagination if you do your part in not encouraging your wayward thoughts.
Live in peace. Your imagination is too active; it will eat you up! Your inward life will die of starvation. All that buzzing in your mind is like bees in a beehive. If you excite your thoughts, they will grow angry and sting you! How can you expect God to speak in His gentle and inward voice when you make so much noise? Be quiet and you will hear God speak. Live in the peace of Jesus.

Hmm. Someone was paying attention to my restless nights...

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Play with your food

I know, I know. I've been neglecting my duties as a blogger. Maybe I'm not cut out for this line of work....

I'm always on the lookout for amusing articles, funny pictures, and examples of creative ways to deal with the stressors of everyday life. This one made me smile: Play with your food . And thanks to one of my sisters-in-law, I can create some of my own stress relief food with my Ms. Food Face plate!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Top 'o the morning to you

May those that love us, love us.
And those that don't love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if He doesn't turn their hearts,
May He turn their ankles
So we will know them by their limping.

Monday, March 14, 2011

The semi-lucid morning of a recovering insomniac

My eyes felt like sandpaper when I rolled over to look at the clock this morning. 2 minutes till. I don't think my groan was actually audible, but I can't be sure.

No sense waiting for the alarm. I'm guessing the cats are waiting outside the bedroom door for me, but I can't see them in the darkness. Guess I missed changing the time on the light timer. Fumble for the light switch- I'd rather not trip over a cat on the stairs in the dark. Ouch! My toes are not food. Why do you insist on nibbling on them every morning? Give me 30 more seconds and you'll have your food. Ugh. There's the "I didn't get enough sleep last night" feeling- I bet it rivals an expectant mother's morning sickness (though having never been an expectant mother, I cannot say this with absolute certainty). Thankfully I know it's short-lived and will have disappeared within half an hour. No, you cannot be in the bathroom with me while I shower. Why? Because the last time I let you in, you meowed the entire time; you sounded like the water was some flesh-eating acid and you were watching me melt down the drain.

I need socks. Sigh, they're downstairs since the clean laundry hasn't made it all the way back upstairs where it belongs. Well, I'll clean out the litterbox and take down the trash and I can grab my socks then. Oh, I should clean out the basement litterbox too. Geez! This trash is heavy. No! You don't need to go in the garage, I'm just putting the trash out there so it can go out.

Ok, so I don't have time to dry my hair now- I really should clean out the litterboxes the night before trash day...Ouch! Quit pouncing on my feet! Darn it! I forgot my socks.

Hmm, what to pack for lunch? Ok- a little of this and a little of that, done. Ready to go. Wait! Didn't check the ready to go. Oh, my water. Now ready to go. Really. *Yawn*

I'll be the first to admit that my sleepless nights are less frequent than in the past. But atypical events still throw my system out of whack- things like the time change, or staying up waaaay too late, or caffeine (mmm, caffeine...). And for several days I'll be "off" with my thoughts jumping around like I have ADHD and my body working in slow motion as if I was stuck in molasses. Some people are under the impression that since I don't sleep well, I don't need sleep. I'd like to correct that- that's someone who's having a manic episode- which I hear can be fun. No, I'm more of an insomniac, meaning I really would like to be able to sleep. A bad night is when I've been laying in bed for 2 hours and sleep just won't come, but I'm so tired I can't see straight. That leads to the incoherent ramblings of the sleep deprived. The bright spot is, unlike a true insomniac, that if last night was bad, tonight I'll sleep.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

When I Grow Up

With only a year to go until I turn 30, I sometimes contemplate that it may be time to let go of my Peter Pan attitude and start acting like a grown up. But then I think about how dull my Facebook pictures would be and I push those silly thoughts aside. Let's face it, if I managed to get a bachelor's degree, a master's degree, a professional counseling license, and get married and none of those things deterred me from wearing my hair in pigtails and trying on every crazy hat I see, I don't think anything will!

It's not that I have an aversion to adulthood, I just don't feel all grown up yet (and I think part of my hopes I never do!). It's good clean fun playing with Bacon B'acon and digging out my coloring books. Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to get all settled in this intense grown up job I have- all the more reason to unleash my inner child when I go home. Sloshing your way through people's mental muck is exhausting, draining, heartbreaking at times (and rewarding, fulfilling, incredible, and did I mention exhausting?). Is it any wonder I sometimes take mental vacations (and wish they were real vacations) or dream about things I like to do in my free time (if I ever have any) like:

1. Turn my amateur bakery into a professional one- oh, but first take a cake decorating class or two
2. Be an author- I do have a book of poetry and a book of autism anecdotes already written. And a novella started...
3. Do research- I used to say frequently "I should do a study on that."
4. Be a photographer- travelling far and wide to take pictures of beaches and mountains and such.
5. Be a beach bum- this is my favorite one to imagine. The smell of salty water, the breeze in my nappy dried ocean-water hair, sun on my skin (which in my fantasy is always golden tan and never the pasty white or sunburn red of reality), ice cold lemonade next to my stack of novels, the sounds of a steel drum band drifting over the waves...