Saturday, March 17, 2012

30th Birthday Blog

I think it is fair to say that I've played it pretty safe my whole life. I only got sent to the principal's office once- and that was because I was stuck in my snowsuit, not because I was in trouble (it was a little traumatic for a second-grader!). Never had detention. The only time I "snuck out" was when my brother and I were pretending to be spies one summer. And we didn't have anyone to spy on, we just crept around the house and through the trees trying not to be seen by the nobody that was around. My big rebellious act? Getting my belly button pierced when I was 18. Who saw it? Pretty much no one unless unveiled it to prove I'd gone through with it. My other rebellious act? I got a tattoo. When I was...wait for it...27. Hardly a youthful impulsive moment. I never went to college parties or on a spring break trip. I might have wandered around Lakeside fairly late at night, but really, what kind of trouble was I going to get in there- where every other person I saw knew someone in my family?! So yeah, you could say I was a big troublemaker.

Turning 30 doesn't really bother me. Age is just a number. If I'm honest, I think I probably stopped counting birthdays at 18- I still feel like 18. I might even be able to still pass for the right light, of course. So why all the reflection?

I don't regret my life or wish I could do it over again. I worked hard to get to where I am (and I have the student loans to prove it!). But since Mini Muffin arrived, I see things a little differently. I don't want to work every weekend. I don't care if the house is a little messy. I  haven't balanced the checkbook in weeks.

I want to spent time with my family. I want to go on adventures. I want to do some good in the world.

It took me a little while to get my priorities straight. But I try to soak up every minute with Mini Muffin and the huz. I don't hesitate to say yes to something I want to do, if we can manage it. I cut off all my hair so someone in need of a wig can enjoy it See where my hair went.

So happy birthday me. Here's to a new hairdo and a new outlook. Here's to saying yes to opportunities without overanalyzing. Here's to teaching and learning and enjoying every second with Mini.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Another Letter to Harper

Dear Harper,
I am sorry I won't be spending time with you today. I am sick. I hate being sick. I hate it even more now because I can't be around you- I don't want you to get sick! It makes me sad to be home but not with you. But you'll have fun with Daddy today!

I was thinking the other day about something important I need to tell you: you can do anything you want in the whole world! Sometimes girls (and boys too, but mainly girls) think they aren't good enough, fast enough, smart enough, skinny enough, tall enough, short enough, strong get the idea. I am telling you right now- you are enough! God made you just the way you are and you are enough. You have everything you need to be whoever you want to be.

I will admit, Daddy and I have some dreams and expectations of you. Things we hope for, things we have learned, things we believe because of who we are and our choice in faiths. But just because we have these hopes and dreams and expectations doesn't mean they are right for you. We will do our very best to raise you and teach you all that we know. In the end, though, you will need to develop your own sense of self, discover your own values and beliefs and be true to them. We will do our very very best to support you and accept you and your decisions, whatever they may be.
You will likely meet people who will criticize, pick on you, and try to bring you down. Sadly, that's just the way life is sometimes. Know this, those people are probably dealing with a lot of their own "stuff." Try not to let them get to you. Life is tough out there. People are hurting. I wish I could protect you from that, but it's better, in the long run, that you hear the truth. Remember how much we love you. Focus on the things that you love about yourself. Let all the negative stuff roll off your back like water rolls off a duck. I believe in you. Daddy believes in you. All your grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins believe in you. You can do whatever you set your mind and heart on. Nothing is impossible if you work hard and trust in God. Sometimes it takes longer than you think it should. Sometimes it ends up looking different than you planned. But happiness is out there and my one true hope for you is that you find it within yourself when you are just little and always hold on to it.

Whether you end up to be a concert pianist, a doctor, a teacher, a construction worker, a tax collector, a plumber, a stay at home mother, a lawyer, a zookeeper, a ballerina, a garbage woman, or a beach bum braiding tourists hair- we love you more than words can say. And we're proud of you.

Mommy and Daddy