Girls, help, secrets, and Christmas

Each week, Feeling Beachie  lists four statements with a blank for you to fill in on your own blogs. Email her your own statements to become a co-host for the week! This week’s co-host is Beth Ann from It’s Just Life– she came up with the last two statements!

This week’s statements:
1) I am so ____ for my _____
2) ____ me, I ______
3) I am _______ at keeping secrets.
4) I ____ that _____ was here already.

My answers:
1) I am so ready for my girls' trip.
2) Help me, I need more hours in the day!
3) I am excellent at keeping secrets. (Keeping confidences is part of my job...)
4) I wish that Christmas was here already. (Kinda, but then again, I'm not ready!)

Fill 'Em In

After a couple of weeks of radio silence (Radio silence?! I think I've been watching too much Alias on Netflix...) I am back at the blogging. Friday Fill In Fun thanks to Feeling Beachie who posts four statements with blanks each Friday for you to use on your own blogs.  This week’s co-host is Lisa from Lisa Writes (and she is also the author of Quake) – she came up with the last two statements!

This week’s statements:
1) I have had the _____ time this_____
2) I can’t believe that _______
3) I feel ______ when I wear ______.
4) Technology is a _______.

My answers:
1) I have had the hardest time this week concentrating at work.
2) I can't believe that it is exactly 2 months until Punky's second birthday.
3) I feel comfortable when I wear jeans.
4) Technology is a necessary evil?

Mother-Daughter

It is my favorite time to write and reflect, the early morning, rocking my baby (okay, toddler) hour. The actual time varies- at 2 this morning I was too incoherent. But at 6...

I sit here rocking, knowing these days are numbered. And soon it will be soccer (or softball) practice or (gasp!) dance lessons taking up our every waking moment and not cuddles and stories and giggles. "Up please" will turn into "shut up." *Shudder*

But for now I rock.

I had just gotten dressed after my shower, my mind already working overtime with my mental to-do list for the day. I heard the Punk starting to fuss, so barefoot, hair dripping, and makeup-less I go into her room. I get to her big girl toddler bed and she actually crawls out on her own! I hand her Bear. Punky mumbles a "thank you" and stumbles to the rocker for me to pick her up and rock. Within moments she is asleep in my arms. (Side note: good call on the glider versus traditional rocking chair. Much more practical and comfortable in times like these!)

So while I am now behind schedule in my morning routine, I really don't care. She has this impeccable timing and way of making me slow down and reevaluate what is truly important. And being able to hold her and reassure her is the most important thing at the moment. She is transitioning and though she handled the first day like a pro, I know, underneath is some uncertainty, some stress regarding the changes that have happened recently.

As I sit here rocking, I remember wondering how I was going to mother a little girl. I'm not exactly what you call a "girly girl." For me doing my hair usually means a ponytail, my makeup routine includes a moisturizer with sunscreen, a liquid to powder foundation, mascara, and Chapstick. If I'm feeling really fancy, I'll throw in some eyeliner. Clothes are more about comfort and function than fashion. If I could get away with it I would wear jeans and tank tops year round. With flip flops in the summer and sneakers and a comfy hoodie in winter. Having a daughter was scary business!

But I love it. We play with stuffed animals. She wears bracelets from one of my old Halloween costumes. I know how to French braid her hair. We "dance" to silly music in the kitchen. When it comes time for clothes and makeup, she's got aunts that can help her. If she really does have a passion for dancing, I'm calling my cuz.

And now I find myself wondering, if we are able to have more children, what will I do with a son?

Permission to let go

Over the last few days I have been reorganizing at la casa de Morris. Occasionally I get on these kicks. Well, this time the project is the loft area. Now, mind you, I do my reorganizing based on things I already have at home as much as possible so I am not spending our precious, hard earned, stretched to the limits money.

Anyway. I decided it was time to turn the loft into something more fun and functional. Punky (and any future kids) and I will share the space. 

I cleaned all the medicine and towels and things out of the closet and moved them to the master bedroom closet. Makes more sense anyway as I can put a lock in our closet door to keep kids out of candy-colored medicines and I could not on the loft closet...

Then I moved my books into the loft closet (and ran out of space!) to empty the cubby shelves for kid books and toys and games. I already made a reading nook for the Punkster in the loft, so this was a logical next step. 

As I was relocating my books, I purged a few to the donation pile. It was hard! And sad! And, I won't lie, I may still go home and pull them back out of the pile. But I finally gave myself a reality check- some of those books that have been sitting on my shelf for years, I mean, really, truly, am I ever going to read them? I am sure there is great stuff in them. But I picked them up for free or dirt cheap, so they couldn't have been that fantastic or the previous owner would have kept them, right? I gave myself permission to give up on reading them. Permission to clear out my bookshelf space that is already overflowing to make room for books I really will read. And while part of me feels I have failed another part of me is relieved to not have them hanging over my head anymore. It feels good. And bad. And sad. But mostly good.

Survived the week!

Each week, Feeling Beachie lists four statements with a blank for you to fill in on your own blogs. This week’s co-host is Donetta from My Constant Thought – she came up with the last two statements!

This week’s statements:
1) Sometimes I feel like there is so _____ and that I will never _____.
2) I never tire of _____
3) I love the charity ___ because it strives to ____
4) My dream job would be ____ because I’d get to _____

My answers:
1) Sometimes I feel like there is so much 'yuck' in the world and that I will never accomplish enough good to counteract it.
2) I never tire of a good book.
3 I love the charity Autism Speaks because it strives to help those touched by ASD.
4) My dream job would be going back to private practice counseling because I'd get to do what I spent a bajillion dollars educating myself to do!

Do Over

It's official. I am asking for a do over for this week! Thursday late afternoon as I was running late to my last home visit of the day I got the call that no one wants. The "the-car-broke-down-and-I'm-stuck-by-the-side-of-the-road" call. So I cancelled the visit I was already late for and zipped across town to get my child from the sitter and then zipped back across town to pick up my stranded Huz.

Friday was relatively quiet, no news about the car. Saturday was date day for our anniversary. And Sunday we enjoyed some time at the campground with the parentals.

Then Monday happened. Babysitter overslept and I was nearly late for work. Then I hear some rumors flying around about said babysitter. Most of which I do not believe. An update on the car- going to be more than anticipated to repair. Finish up my work day and race across town to get my Punky and then my Huz and off we go to the bank. There it actually went smoothly. No issue with refinancing the loan to cover the cost of the repairs. A few extra dollars a month on the payment and an extra year and a half of payments, but no (additional) credit card debt. That night Punky decides she doesn't want to sleep. She finally settles down at 11...*YAWN!*

Tuesday. Stress and lack of sleep equal not feeling so hot in the morning. But off to work. Oh last minute schedule change because a kid gets to start visitation with his bio parent at the same time I am scheduled to meet with him at his foster home. Okay, a trip to the agency instead of the home. I can adapt. And help another of my foster parents who is picking up new foster kids just as I happen to walk in. Only nobody seems to know there are kids there waiting for a foster home. I help get that straightened out, but now I am running late again. Weave my way (safely) through traffic to pick up my child. This one car thing bites as I have to do all drop off and pick up duties.

Wednesday. Arrive at sitter's. More drama. Messy divorce. Ugliness. Not good. Go to work. Leave after a meeting to pick up Punky from a friend that the babysitter dropped her off with as she had emergency business to deal with regarding the aforementioned drama. Punky not at friend's yet. Friend's mother arrives. Friend's mother leaves and returns with friend's child and Punky. Take Punky home and put her down for a late nap. Begin work at home time.

The bright spot in this do over of a week was the completely unexpected care package from my Auntie! And even though 99% was for Punky, it still made my day and possibly my week!

Clothes, books, snacks, glow-in-the-dark toys, stickers, etc.! A fantastic little pick-me-up.

Fill in Fun

Every Friday, Feeling Beachie posts four statements with blanks in them for you to complete on your own blog. This week’s co-host is Rachael from Print and Stitch – she came up with the last two statements!

This week’s statements:
1) I hate when I _____
2) I sometimes long for _____
3) Thinking about ___ always makes me ____
4) My favorite day of this week so far was ___ because____

My answers:
1) I hate when I wake up an hour before my alarm and can't go back to sleep.
2) I sometimes long for more time at home.
3) Thinking about summer always makes me want to go to Lakeside.
4) My favorite day of this week so far was Wednesday because I got to take my kid to the zoo!

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

Today was a zoo day. Punky and I met up with Gramma and Grandpop and went to the zoo. It was a good day, Punky now knows to look for animals in the exhibits and can handle walking and riding through the expansive layout. She even touched a snake! (Uncle Thomas should be proud!) She finally crashed on the way home, but woke up promptly when I turned onto our street. I am hopeful that some rocking and cuddling with her new penguin will help her settle back down and get a more normal length nap....

The only bad thing, aside from the abbreviated nap, is that it makes me wish I could do mid-week fun stuff more often. I long to be home, even just one day during the week, to take her places like the zoo and story time at the library and COSI... Without having to take a vacation day to do it.  

Funny how motherhood changes your priorities...

Friday Fill-In Fun

 
I missed last week. Oops.

Each week, Feeling Beachie posts four statements with a blank to fill in on your own blog. You can email her suggestions and be a co-host for the week. This week's co-host is from Purrfectly Pickles!

This week’s statements:
1) I always _____ texts
2) A love to fall asleep when ____
3) My dream pet would be a ________ named ________.
4) I love _______ more than chocolate. (Or ice cream!!)

My answers:
1) I always read and eventually respond to texts.
2) I love to fall asleep when it is raining gently.
3 My dream pet would be a Great Dane named Jupiter.
4) I love lots of things more than chocolate (or ice cream) since I can no longer tolerate eating either.

Friday Fun Day

Each week, Feeling Beachie  lists four statements with a blank for you to fill in on your own blogs. If you want to join the fun and come up with four fill in’s of your own, please email them to Feeling Beachie. This week’s co-host is Mr. Uttley from Uttley’s Take – he came up with the last two statements!

This week’s statements:
1. I don’t have a lot of ______
2. When it is a ______ I hate when it ______
3. When I was little, my dream job was __________.
4. I could write a book about ___________________.

My answers:
1. I don't have a lot of free time.
2. When it is a rainy day I hate when it is also a work day.
3. When I was little, my dream job was a majorette, I remember drawing it in art class as what I wanted to be when I grew up.
4. I could write a book about how lousy the foster care system is.