30th Birthday Blog

I think it is fair to say that I've played it pretty safe my whole life. I only got sent to the principal's office once- and that was because I was stuck in my snowsuit, not because I was in trouble (it was a little traumatic for a second-grader!). Never had detention. The only time I "snuck out" was when my brother and I were pretending to be spies one summer. And we didn't have anyone to spy on, we just crept around the house and through the trees trying not to be seen by the nobody that was around. My big rebellious act? Getting my belly button pierced when I was 18. Who saw it? Pretty much no one unless unveiled it to prove I'd gone through with it. My other rebellious act? I got a tattoo. When I was...wait for it...27. Hardly a youthful impulsive moment. I never went to college parties or on a spring break trip. I might have wandered around Lakeside fairly late at night, but really, what kind of trouble was I going to get in there- where every other person I saw knew someone in my family?! So yeah, you could say I was a big troublemaker.

Turning 30 doesn't really bother me. Age is just a number. If I'm honest, I think I probably stopped counting birthdays at 18- I still feel like 18. I might even be able to still pass for 18...in the right light, of course. So why all the reflection?

I don't regret my life or wish I could do it over again. I worked hard to get to where I am (and I have the student loans to prove it!). But since Mini Muffin arrived, I see things a little differently. I don't want to work every weekend. I don't care if the house is a little messy. I  haven't balanced the checkbook in weeks.

I want to spent time with my family. I want to go on adventures. I want to do some good in the world.

It took me a little while to get my priorities straight. But I try to soak up every minute with Mini Muffin and the huz. I don't hesitate to say yes to something I want to do, if we can manage it. I cut off all my hair so someone in need of a wig can enjoy it See where my hair went.

So happy birthday me. Here's to a new hairdo and a new outlook. Here's to saying yes to opportunities without overanalyzing. Here's to teaching and learning and enjoying every second with Mini.

Another Letter to Harper

3/15/12
Dear Harper,
I am sorry I won't be spending time with you today. I am sick. I hate being sick. I hate it even more now because I can't be around you- I don't want you to get sick! It makes me sad to be home but not with you. But you'll have fun with Daddy today!

I was thinking the other day about something important I need to tell you: you can do anything you want in the whole world! Sometimes girls (and boys too, but mainly girls) think they aren't good enough, fast enough, smart enough, skinny enough, tall enough, short enough, strong enough...you get the idea. I am telling you right now- you are enough! God made you just the way you are and you are enough. You have everything you need to be whoever you want to be.

I will admit, Daddy and I have some dreams and expectations of you. Things we hope for, things we have learned, things we believe because of who we are and our choice in faiths. But just because we have these hopes and dreams and expectations doesn't mean they are right for you. We will do our very best to raise you and teach you all that we know. In the end, though, you will need to develop your own sense of self, discover your own values and beliefs and be true to them. We will do our very very best to support you and accept you and your decisions, whatever they may be.
You will likely meet people who will criticize, pick on you, and try to bring you down. Sadly, that's just the way life is sometimes. Know this, those people are probably dealing with a lot of their own "stuff." Try not to let them get to you. Life is tough out there. People are hurting. I wish I could protect you from that, but it's better, in the long run, that you hear the truth. Remember how much we love you. Focus on the things that you love about yourself. Let all the negative stuff roll off your back like water rolls off a duck. I believe in you. Daddy believes in you. All your grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins believe in you. You can do whatever you set your mind and heart on. Nothing is impossible if you work hard and trust in God. Sometimes it takes longer than you think it should. Sometimes it ends up looking different than you planned. But happiness is out there and my one true hope for you is that you find it within yourself when you are just little and always hold on to it.

Whether you end up to be a concert pianist, a doctor, a teacher, a construction worker, a tax collector, a plumber, a stay at home mother, a lawyer, a zookeeper, a ballerina, a garbage woman, or a beach bum braiding tourists hair- we love you more than words can say. And we're proud of you.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Letters to Harper

I am not entirely sure why I started this or where the I got the idea, but when the huz and I started trying for a baby I started writing letters to the child. I plan to give her the letters when she's older. And hopefully I can continue writing them (or typing them or emailing them or blogging them or whatever form they end up taking [I'm envisioning a book...]) throughout her life.

Here is the letter from last night:

1/2/12

Dear Harper,

Guess what?! You gave me your first real smiles today! You've been smirking and giving half smiles here and there, but today they were real smiles!

I was wiping your mouth, talking to you and you smiled. So I kept making silly sounds and dabbing at your cheeks and smiling at you. And you kept smiling back! It almost looked like you wanted to laugh! It made ME laugh! I called Daddy over to make sure he saw you too. Can't wait to see that beautiful smile again!

Love you.

Mommy

2011 Year in Review

It is hard to believe that 2011 is nearly over. And an eventful year it has been. I can't even remember what happened the first quarter of the year. I do remember when the adventure started: April Fool's Day. That was the day we found out Harper was on her way. Pregnancy definitely was a memorable experience, but we won't rehash that now.

The other major event of 2011 was the purchase of a house. I believe I chronicled that saga as it was occurring- a process I do not wish to repeat any time soon (or ever). We settled into the new place in September, doing our best to make the place "ours." And began our never-ending list of projects to do to the house. And we waited for Harper's arrival.

And arrive she did! I got up one Sunday morning to feed the cats and settled in on the couch to relax until the huz got up. I decided I should probably get some breakfast and headed to the kitchen when I felt something weird happen. Soon I was feeling some contractions. And then they were stronger and closer together. I decided the thing to do was to go back up to bed, to relax up there with the huz and see if they stopped. They didn't. So after an hour and a half, I decided it was time to tell the huz, cause it would seem I was truly in labor- two weeks early. Soon we were on our way to the hospital. About eight hours later, Harper Adelle Morris showed up on the scene. A couple days later, we were taking home our baby girl and adjusting to our new, larger family.

Christmas was extra special this year, although Harper slept through most of the festivities. And all too soon it was time to go back to work. Tomorrow night we'll ring in the new year- I don't anticipate to be quite like 2011, but it will be an adventure of a different kind as we watch Harper learn and grow. But tonight is a night to look back, remember, and count our many blessings.

Christmas List

Now I don't like to jump ahead and not give Thanksgiving its due time and attention, but I happened to be thinking about Christmas and how different it will be this year. I began thinking about my Christmas wish list for this year- thought I might share with my loyal followers:

The ability to sleep in any position (okay, let's face it, I'd just like to sleep, period)

To be able to put on socks and shoes without struggle (and to paint my own toenails!)

To break out the heels again

To wear clothes without the funky elastic-y waistband that either doesn't stay up or makes the belly ridiculously itchy

To breathe deeply and with ease

The ability to walk without waddling (and maybe, if I'm really ambitious, actually start running again...)

Have more than 3-4 outfits that fit comfortably and don't look like I'm wearing a tent

To wear my wedding rings again

While I am very serious about the above list, my true Christmas wish is for Mini Muffin Morris to arrive safe and sound, happy and healthy (preferable on time). 

As far as I can remember, I've always liked Christmas though I think my enjoyment of the holiday has changed over the years. It's not so much about the gifts as it is about the spirit of the season and the time with family and friends. I think it helps that so many members of the family and so many of our friends are Christmas enthusiasts too. Baking cookies, decorating the tree, Christmas movies. There was the year the huz took me to see the Nutcracker. That was our first Christmas together and the first year I wouldn't be able to see my cousin dance in the Nutcracker back home-ish. And there have been several Winter Wonderland Girls Trips to prepare for the Christmas season that always give the holiday spirit a jump start. The Christmas-y smelling candles and the holiday music. Although the newest family member will be a little too young to care, I have no doubt she'll learn to love Christmas just like the rest of us. And we'll build new family traditions with her. But only after she learns to appreciate Thanksgiving too!

Showers of Butterflies

I admit it. I was overwhelmed. In a good way. I mean, I always knew my family and friends were pretty darn cool, but this weekend really proved it to me.

Harper's anticipated arrival date is a mere 7 weeks away and I confess I am both completely ready and absolutely, positively nowhere near ready (if it's possible to be both at the same time). Her room was pretty spare. A dresser with some clothes, a crib without a mattress or bedding, a stuffed lamb, and a rocking chair. Now, I know if we just picked up a car seat to get her home we really didn't NEED anything else- well, maybe the mattress- but being first time parents and having the personalities we have, her dad and I wanted her room to

be... well-stocked. Dollar signs floated before our eyes. It wasn't exactly our plan to (finally) buy a house a 3 months before the baby appears on the scene. It just happened that way. And added to the stress of trying to make sure everything was just so- in the house and for Harper.

Anyway, this weekend, my amazing friends and family came together to shower us with gifts for the baby. I was blown away by how many people showed up. And their generosity. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, but I'm still a little emotional thinking about it. I don't think words can express how grateful we are. Of course there are still things we want to get- I mean really, can she ever have enough? (We'll spoil her now, before she's old enough to know she's being spoiled!) Seriously though, I worked up a sweat opening gifts. Who does that?! I only hope we do her justice and are able to instill in her the same gratitude we feel towards our family and friends.

Seriously Neglected

I have seriously neglected my blogging followers (all three of them). My apologies.

The last month has been a whirlwind. Not to mention stressful. I admit, up to this point in my life, I think this whole buying a house thing has been the most stress-inducing thing I've ever done. I didn't have nightmares like I did in the weeks leading up to taking my licensure exam, but I'm fairly certain my blood pressure was elevated a bit. Nonetheless, we did manage to close on the house and immediately set to work cleaning, painting, etc. In fact, I think this week was the first time the huz and I managed to sit down since we bought the place. Thanks to our wonderful family and friends, we did get everything cleaned, painted, and moved. Now we're working on unpacking and organizing everything. And we've definitely done our part to stimulate the economy with our multiple trips to Lowe's every week. The kitties seem to be, slowly, settling in as well. Fritz isn't cowering under the bed ALL day anymore. Just last night, the doorbell rang and he didn't do more than sit up and look alarmed! Jynx, of course, is exploring every nook and cranny to see where he can cause the most trouble.

Baby Girl Morris is growing, growing, growing. Today's report was that she's right on schedule (and not measuring big, like I was told two weeks ago). But the doctor didn't really give me any answers about why I've been feeling yucky the last several days. No, I don't have a fever, I just feel icky. Her solution was to "drink more water." I'm not sure it's physically possible to consume more water... And of course, there is the inexplicable wrist pain and swelling I'm experiencing. Falling apart and I haven't even hit 30 yet!

Ever the exciting post going on here...

Yep, I got nothing. Next time I'll try to be more entertaining.

One of those days...

Ever have one of those days when, before you've even left the house in the morning, you think you would be better off going back to bed and trying again tomorrow? It's 9 am on Monday morning, and it's one of those days.

The day started out as most do. I drag my tired body out of bed and out of the bedroom where I attempt NOT to fall over the hungry beasts as the three of us make our way down stairs to the kitchen. I dodge little teeth nipping at my calves and toes- oh how it drives me crazy when one of the monsters bites my toes! I stand there waiting for the ravenous beast to finish so that I can pluck him up and away and let the not so ravenous beast finish without having to defend his food. Only this morning- Ravenous (who shall henceforth be known as Thing 2) decided he didn't want to eat and wandered off. Okay, whatever, no problem. I pick up his food and put it back in the fridge. I watch Thing 2 wander around a bit and decide he really doesn't want to eat and Thing 1 should be fine.

Now, I recently (as in yesterday) banned the kitties from the basement. Up until the last month, we had kitties who were very good about the litter box. Then about a month or so ago, the litter boxes went a little longer than normal without a cleaning and one of the Things let us know he wasn't happy about that. Litter boxes cleaned, problem solved, right? Apparently not. Somebody continued to "forget" where the box was. I don't know if said Thing has suddenly developed a taste for an extra clean potty or if the evidence of moving is throwing the Thing off. Either way, the huz and I thought perhaps the basement was a little too quiet and unmonitored. So I banned them from the basement. Mistake. I smelled something upstairs this morning. And discovered a message in the spare room. Still unsure as to if it was Thing 1 or Thing 2 (I was betting on Thing 1 since he's typically the troublemaker) I was irritated that one of them was still acting up. And then it happened. I caught Thing 2. Now, I can't prove it was him all along, but that time, at least, it was him. What Thing 2 doesn't realize, is that if he doesn't get his act together, his days are numbered. We'll get him through the move and get him settled at the new place, but if it continues to be a problem once the boxes are unpacked and he's settled, we'll be looking for a new home for the boys.

Oh, but the fun doesn't end there. Monday is trash day. And if you've read my recent posts, you know about the tight squeeze in the storage unit, I mean garage. Ok. Time to leave for work. I put my bags in the passenger seat, like always. No problems there. Open the garage door so I can fit behind the car to get to the driver's side. Usually, I pull the trash can out before getting in car, I mean, it's hard to do AFTER I get in the car, right? But this time the car was parked a little too close on that side and the trash can wouldn't fit. So I attempt to squeeze between the trash can and the car to get in and pull the car out of the garage. Well, wouldn't you know. I'm as big as a trash can and didn't fit either. Well, I did, but in the process I managed to bump my belly on the car. And of course the car hasn't been washed recently. And of course I was wearing a white shirt...

Trash can put out for trash day. Headed off to work. Out of the complex, through the housing development. Yay, the tracks are open today I can take my normal route to work. Oh, for crying out loud, would my nose stop running! There must be some tissues in here somewhere. What's that? Not tissues, but the huz's keys. Sigh. Back to the Morris residence I go...

Day 175

It's Day 175, or the first day of week 25. An estimated 105 days remaining. Which makes it sound like I have SO much more time to prepare than when I say 15 weeks... 105 days it is!

This week the books and apps say the baby weighs in at about a pound and a half and is somewhere between 9 and 13.5 inches. The size of a rutabaga- because I can picture EXACTLY how big that is without visiting my local farmers' market! All I know is she's big enough to feel like she's got a death grip on one of my ribs and be using my bladder as a trampoline at the same time.

And while it isn't Day 175 of the house saga (it just seems like it-the actual count is probably more like Day 150)- the boxes continue to pile up slowly. I try to pack one or two every day. But there are only so many non-essentials that can spend weeks all packed up. And the newly packed box typically sits in a really conveniently located place for loading and a really inconvenient place for maneuvering around the condo, seeing as how it stays where it is once full until the huz has time to move it to the garage. Oh and the garage. That's a fun place. I was thrilled when it was MY turn to start parking in the garage and the huz had to deal with the elements before work in the mornings. Well, now that it's become more and more of a storage unit so that our residence doesn't look like a warehouse, it's like an obstacle course. Pull in slowly, not too far in or you'll whack the mirror on the fridge. Open the door slightly to see if you're too close to the boxes. Wiggle out of the car and hope there's enough room so squeeze the rutabaga between the car and the trash can. Check to see if you pulled far enough forward to close the garage door. Shimmy down the other side of the car- oops, watch your head, don't want to hit it on the snow shovel hanging down there. Made it to the door where then you must try not to trip over the two cats who have some strange fascination with slinking into the garage. EVERY DAY. The same cats I just watched pull a highlighter out from under the sofa. Wonder how many more they have stored under there...better save a small box to pack their treasures in after the movers (and by movers I mean friends who are getting paid in pizza and beer) load the couch in the van...

Boxes, bags, and endless paperwork

Time for another of my sporadic, cathartic blog posts.

The saga continues.

I'm not entirely sure why I thought it would be easy. Nothing ever is, it seems. After a year and a half of searching, we found the place. After waiting two months, the bid was accepted. After completing a mountain of paperwork- and faxing it 3 times- we still have no idea what's going on. The latest exchange:

Carla: Just wanted to clarify that we are closing on the 30th.

Banker: Let me check. I'll get back to you later. Or sooner.

A day passes.

Carla: We're trying to make arrangements, just checking in about the closing.

Banker: We need the declaration page from your insurance. You can use the close date as your effective date. I think you told me the 30th.

Wait, you are asking me? I thought I was asking you...

Carla emailing insurance: We need the declaration page, yadda yadda yadda.

Insurance: no response.

Carla calling insurance: This is Carla...

Insurance: Oh, yes, I saw the email from you, but our computers are down and we can't access anything right now. Where can I call you?

Carla: gives number

Insurance:

That's right. Still waiting for that phone call.

So who is the person who actually knows what's going on and how do I reach said person? Meanwhile, half my belongings are packed up in boxes. And the bags of hand-me-down baby clothes are piling up. I think it'd be nice to get the stack of paperwork for the house filed away before the stack of paperwork for the hospital/baby/birth begins to accumulate...But that's probably wishful thinking.