Goodnight Harper

The time has come
When dinner is done,
Our day is over
We've had our fun.

We take a bath
Get clean underwear,
Brush our teeth
And brush our hair.

Climb into bed
Grab our teddy bears,
Read our stories
Say our prayers.

Upon your cheeks
We place a kiss,
Say goodnight
To our Little Miss.

Sweet dreams to you
All night long,
Rest your head
Until morning's song.

Time Flies

Hard to believe that Mini Muffin is only a few weeks away from being a whole half year old. Can it really have been that long ago that I was lugging her around inside my massive belly?

Motherhood amnesia is definitely setting in because, although I'm still up during the night with Mini most nights, I am already forgetting how exhaustingly difficult those first few weeks were when she was only awake 2-3 hours a day: from 11pm to 2am. In my head, I remember this happened, but my body has forgotten the feeling of utter exhaustion and helplessness as we cried together because she wasn't sleeping. But we got through that and moved on to better days.

Baby girl is now going to bed at a reasonable hour- I usually even have time to read a chapter or two before I turn in for the night. And she sleeps for a good chunk of the night. Little Miss Independent is trying to hold her own bottle and can get a spoon into her mouth if I put the spoon in her hand. She rolls over and looks around to see if anyone was watching; she has a huge smile when we cheer for her. Occasionally she giggles at us and frequently gives us her drooly, toothless (but not for much longer) grin.

Tater Tot loves to stand and look around. She already watches too much TV. We took her swimming the other day. She wasn't a huge fan, but the water was a little chilly. Hopefully, she finds swimming more appealing on vacation this summer...

Pretty soon Small Fry is going to experience food on her spoon. Hmmm, will she take after her mom or her dad with her taste buds?

She baby box just has stuff tossed in it, but not organized, labelled, or decorated. Maybe we'll work on that together when she's older...Which will be here before I know it.

Private Eyes

Just finished reading a book the huz got me for my birthday. I've been reading the Alex Delaware series off and on for years. Decided it was time to actually read them in order. Got a couple on my Nook, then the huz bought me the next four in the series for my special day- even though I literally have a shelf of 30 books waiting to be read! Guess he does live me!!
Anyway, I just finished #6 in the series: Private Eyes (and yes, every time I read the title the song starts playing in my head...) by Jonathan Kellerman. If you don't know anything about the series, Delaware is a child psychologist who consults with the police to solve various crimes. We all know I love a good psychological thriller! I recommend it. But you don't have to take my word for it (yes, I totally referenced Reading Rainbow there!)

30th Birthday Blog

I think it is fair to say that I've played it pretty safe my whole life. I only got sent to the principal's office once- and that was because I was stuck in my snowsuit, not because I was in trouble (it was a little traumatic for a second-grader!). Never had detention. The only time I "snuck out" was when my brother and I were pretending to be spies one summer. And we didn't have anyone to spy on, we just crept around the house and through the trees trying not to be seen by the nobody that was around. My big rebellious act? Getting my belly button pierced when I was 18. Who saw it? Pretty much no one unless unveiled it to prove I'd gone through with it. My other rebellious act? I got a tattoo. When I was...wait for it...27. Hardly a youthful impulsive moment. I never went to college parties or on a spring break trip. I might have wandered around Lakeside fairly late at night, but really, what kind of trouble was I going to get in there- where every other person I saw knew someone in my family?! So yeah, you could say I was a big troublemaker.

Turning 30 doesn't really bother me. Age is just a number. If I'm honest, I think I probably stopped counting birthdays at 18- I still feel like 18. I might even be able to still pass for 18...in the right light, of course. So why all the reflection?

I don't regret my life or wish I could do it over again. I worked hard to get to where I am (and I have the student loans to prove it!). But since Mini Muffin arrived, I see things a little differently. I don't want to work every weekend. I don't care if the house is a little messy. I  haven't balanced the checkbook in weeks.

I want to spent time with my family. I want to go on adventures. I want to do some good in the world.

It took me a little while to get my priorities straight. But I try to soak up every minute with Mini Muffin and the huz. I don't hesitate to say yes to something I want to do, if we can manage it. I cut off all my hair so someone in need of a wig can enjoy it See where my hair went.

So happy birthday me. Here's to a new hairdo and a new outlook. Here's to saying yes to opportunities without overanalyzing. Here's to teaching and learning and enjoying every second with Mini.

Another Letter to Harper

3/15/12
Dear Harper,
I am sorry I won't be spending time with you today. I am sick. I hate being sick. I hate it even more now because I can't be around you- I don't want you to get sick! It makes me sad to be home but not with you. But you'll have fun with Daddy today!

I was thinking the other day about something important I need to tell you: you can do anything you want in the whole world! Sometimes girls (and boys too, but mainly girls) think they aren't good enough, fast enough, smart enough, skinny enough, tall enough, short enough, strong enough...you get the idea. I am telling you right now- you are enough! God made you just the way you are and you are enough. You have everything you need to be whoever you want to be.

I will admit, Daddy and I have some dreams and expectations of you. Things we hope for, things we have learned, things we believe because of who we are and our choice in faiths. But just because we have these hopes and dreams and expectations doesn't mean they are right for you. We will do our very best to raise you and teach you all that we know. In the end, though, you will need to develop your own sense of self, discover your own values and beliefs and be true to them. We will do our very very best to support you and accept you and your decisions, whatever they may be.
You will likely meet people who will criticize, pick on you, and try to bring you down. Sadly, that's just the way life is sometimes. Know this, those people are probably dealing with a lot of their own "stuff." Try not to let them get to you. Life is tough out there. People are hurting. I wish I could protect you from that, but it's better, in the long run, that you hear the truth. Remember how much we love you. Focus on the things that you love about yourself. Let all the negative stuff roll off your back like water rolls off a duck. I believe in you. Daddy believes in you. All your grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins believe in you. You can do whatever you set your mind and heart on. Nothing is impossible if you work hard and trust in God. Sometimes it takes longer than you think it should. Sometimes it ends up looking different than you planned. But happiness is out there and my one true hope for you is that you find it within yourself when you are just little and always hold on to it.

Whether you end up to be a concert pianist, a doctor, a teacher, a construction worker, a tax collector, a plumber, a stay at home mother, a lawyer, a zookeeper, a ballerina, a garbage woman, or a beach bum braiding tourists hair- we love you more than words can say. And we're proud of you.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Letters to Harper

I am not entirely sure why I started this or where the I got the idea, but when the huz and I started trying for a baby I started writing letters to the child. I plan to give her the letters when she's older. And hopefully I can continue writing them (or typing them or emailing them or blogging them or whatever form they end up taking [I'm envisioning a book...]) throughout her life.

Here is the letter from last night:

1/2/12

Dear Harper,

Guess what?! You gave me your first real smiles today! You've been smirking and giving half smiles here and there, but today they were real smiles!

I was wiping your mouth, talking to you and you smiled. So I kept making silly sounds and dabbing at your cheeks and smiling at you. And you kept smiling back! It almost looked like you wanted to laugh! It made ME laugh! I called Daddy over to make sure he saw you too. Can't wait to see that beautiful smile again!

Love you.

Mommy

2011 Year in Review

It is hard to believe that 2011 is nearly over. And an eventful year it has been. I can't even remember what happened the first quarter of the year. I do remember when the adventure started: April Fool's Day. That was the day we found out Harper was on her way. Pregnancy definitely was a memorable experience, but we won't rehash that now.

The other major event of 2011 was the purchase of a house. I believe I chronicled that saga as it was occurring- a process I do not wish to repeat any time soon (or ever). We settled into the new place in September, doing our best to make the place "ours." And began our never-ending list of projects to do to the house. And we waited for Harper's arrival.

And arrive she did! I got up one Sunday morning to feed the cats and settled in on the couch to relax until the huz got up. I decided I should probably get some breakfast and headed to the kitchen when I felt something weird happen. Soon I was feeling some contractions. And then they were stronger and closer together. I decided the thing to do was to go back up to bed, to relax up there with the huz and see if they stopped. They didn't. So after an hour and a half, I decided it was time to tell the huz, cause it would seem I was truly in labor- two weeks early. Soon we were on our way to the hospital. About eight hours later, Harper Adelle Morris showed up on the scene. A couple days later, we were taking home our baby girl and adjusting to our new, larger family.

Christmas was extra special this year, although Harper slept through most of the festivities. And all too soon it was time to go back to work. Tomorrow night we'll ring in the new year- I don't anticipate to be quite like 2011, but it will be an adventure of a different kind as we watch Harper learn and grow. But tonight is a night to look back, remember, and count our many blessings.

Christmas List

Now I don't like to jump ahead and not give Thanksgiving its due time and attention, but I happened to be thinking about Christmas and how different it will be this year. I began thinking about my Christmas wish list for this year- thought I might share with my loyal followers:

The ability to sleep in any position (okay, let's face it, I'd just like to sleep, period)

To be able to put on socks and shoes without struggle (and to paint my own toenails!)

To break out the heels again

To wear clothes without the funky elastic-y waistband that either doesn't stay up or makes the belly ridiculously itchy

To breathe deeply and with ease

The ability to walk without waddling (and maybe, if I'm really ambitious, actually start running again...)

Have more than 3-4 outfits that fit comfortably and don't look like I'm wearing a tent

To wear my wedding rings again

While I am very serious about the above list, my true Christmas wish is for Mini Muffin Morris to arrive safe and sound, happy and healthy (preferable on time). 

As far as I can remember, I've always liked Christmas though I think my enjoyment of the holiday has changed over the years. It's not so much about the gifts as it is about the spirit of the season and the time with family and friends. I think it helps that so many members of the family and so many of our friends are Christmas enthusiasts too. Baking cookies, decorating the tree, Christmas movies. There was the year the huz took me to see the Nutcracker. That was our first Christmas together and the first year I wouldn't be able to see my cousin dance in the Nutcracker back home-ish. And there have been several Winter Wonderland Girls Trips to prepare for the Christmas season that always give the holiday spirit a jump start. The Christmas-y smelling candles and the holiday music. Although the newest family member will be a little too young to care, I have no doubt she'll learn to love Christmas just like the rest of us. And we'll build new family traditions with her. But only after she learns to appreciate Thanksgiving too!

Showers of Butterflies

I admit it. I was overwhelmed. In a good way. I mean, I always knew my family and friends were pretty darn cool, but this weekend really proved it to me.

Harper's anticipated arrival date is a mere 7 weeks away and I confess I am both completely ready and absolutely, positively nowhere near ready (if it's possible to be both at the same time). Her room was pretty spare. A dresser with some clothes, a crib without a mattress or bedding, a stuffed lamb, and a rocking chair. Now, I know if we just picked up a car seat to get her home we really didn't NEED anything else- well, maybe the mattress- but being first time parents and having the personalities we have, her dad and I wanted her room to

be... well-stocked. Dollar signs floated before our eyes. It wasn't exactly our plan to (finally) buy a house a 3 months before the baby appears on the scene. It just happened that way. And added to the stress of trying to make sure everything was just so- in the house and for Harper.

Anyway, this weekend, my amazing friends and family came together to shower us with gifts for the baby. I was blown away by how many people showed up. And their generosity. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, but I'm still a little emotional thinking about it. I don't think words can express how grateful we are. Of course there are still things we want to get- I mean really, can she ever have enough? (We'll spoil her now, before she's old enough to know she's being spoiled!) Seriously though, I worked up a sweat opening gifts. Who does that?! I only hope we do her justice and are able to instill in her the same gratitude we feel towards our family and friends.

Seriously Neglected

I have seriously neglected my blogging followers (all three of them). My apologies.

The last month has been a whirlwind. Not to mention stressful. I admit, up to this point in my life, I think this whole buying a house thing has been the most stress-inducing thing I've ever done. I didn't have nightmares like I did in the weeks leading up to taking my licensure exam, but I'm fairly certain my blood pressure was elevated a bit. Nonetheless, we did manage to close on the house and immediately set to work cleaning, painting, etc. In fact, I think this week was the first time the huz and I managed to sit down since we bought the place. Thanks to our wonderful family and friends, we did get everything cleaned, painted, and moved. Now we're working on unpacking and organizing everything. And we've definitely done our part to stimulate the economy with our multiple trips to Lowe's every week. The kitties seem to be, slowly, settling in as well. Fritz isn't cowering under the bed ALL day anymore. Just last night, the doorbell rang and he didn't do more than sit up and look alarmed! Jynx, of course, is exploring every nook and cranny to see where he can cause the most trouble.

Baby Girl Morris is growing, growing, growing. Today's report was that she's right on schedule (and not measuring big, like I was told two weeks ago). But the doctor didn't really give me any answers about why I've been feeling yucky the last several days. No, I don't have a fever, I just feel icky. Her solution was to "drink more water." I'm not sure it's physically possible to consume more water... And of course, there is the inexplicable wrist pain and swelling I'm experiencing. Falling apart and I haven't even hit 30 yet!

Ever the exciting post going on here...

Yep, I got nothing. Next time I'll try to be more entertaining.