Teething Bites

I spoke too soon. I should know better. Like the time I bragged on Jynx about how he NEVER got on the counters- and since that day I can't keep him OFF the counters. But, apparently, I did not learn my lesson. What did I do? I said Punky's teething hadn't been too bad. Lots of drool and gnawing. Two days of yucky diapers- though maybe that was the green beans and not the teething... Then two little teeth popped through. No problem. Right? Wrong. Since those two little teeth popped through, we've had more restless night and false SIDS alarms than ever before. (We have one of those "fancy" monitors that detects baby's movements and sets off an obnoxious alarm when no movement is detected. Great idea and I am glad we chose it, but on those restless nights when Punky ends up squished in the corner of her crib the sensor can't tell she's still breathing.)

Last night she set off the alarm three times. We took turns getting up to move her back to the middle of the bed. Then she decided she was cold, lonely, had a bad dream, who knows. So I went and rocked her for a while and she fell asleep snuggled against me. I put her back in her crib and she starts whimpering. There is no other way to describe it, it was whimpering. I head back to bed convinced she'll roll over, stick her thumb in her mouth and be back in dreamland in no time. But of course that is wishful thinking. This time the huz gets up with her. A rare thing in the middle of the night. Most nocturnal happenings tend to fall on me, just the way it is. I just checked on them with the intent to take over and they were stretched out on the floor of Punky's room snoozing away. I decided to leave them be. Daddy may be a bit stiff and sore at work, but it was going to be less disruptive than moving either of them.

The huz asked me "what's her deal?" I wish I knew! But my guess is that we spoke too soon about the teething we thought was going so smoothly. All I do know is that it has been a rough couple weeks and I think we are both feeling a little zombie-like. But unlike those first few weeks of endlessness nighttime feedings, we feel a little more established and prepared as parents. We know our limits and when we really need the other to take over for a bit. We know, this too will end. And someday we will sleep again. In the meantime, we try to cut each other a little slack. It's all too easy to say harsh words when exhaustion has set it. So cut us some slack, we are cutting teeth here!

Flustered, frazzled, fearful

"When you feel flustered and frazzled on the outside, do not get upset with yourself. You are only human, and the swirl of events going on all around you will sometimes feel overwhelming" (from Jesus Calling- July 31st).

"Whenever you start to feel fearful or anxious, repeat this unconditional promise: 'Nothing can separate me from Your Love, Jesus'" (Jesus Calling- August 1st).

I don't know about the fearful part, but I've definitely been flustered and frazzled of late. The never ending pile of laundry, the growing grocery list, the friends that need a call or visit, etc. etc. There is always something that needs attention (I'm not even including the baby or the huz- they get their attention...I think...). It's the other stuff the I can't seem to stay on top of. So what gives? I'm not sure yet, but maybe tonight after Punk's in bed, I can mull it over while soaking in the bathtub...

7 of 10- A Must Read

Yesterday I forgot to take my book with me to work. I typically read while I eat my lunch. I was a little bummed, I had recently started a new book and was hoping to really get into it. But never fear! I opened my NOOK app on my phone and started reading a book recently added to my shelf. No, I didn't break my rule and buy a new book. This book was gifted to me, directly to my NOOK. I didn't even know you could do that! But you can. And my mother did. So technically this book was on my shelf just not as long as many of the others.

The Golden Hat: Talking Back to Autism by Kate Winslet and Margret Ericsdottir. Yes, THE Kate Winslet. Kate met Margret while narrating her documentary. A friendship was born. The Golden Hat Foundation was born. This book was born. A relatively short book, containing numerous pictures (probably better in the actual book than on my NOOK or phone)- it is a moving collection of emails and writings; poetry written by a nonverbal autistic boy. It was a moving story, perhaps touching to me more because I have worked with nonverbal autism.... At any rate, I highly recommend this book and look forward to getting my hands on the documentary that started it all.

For more information about the Golden Hat Foundation visit: goldenhatfoundation.org

Topsey Turvey

Just seems like the world has gone all wonky lately. Well, maybe just especially wonky of late. I think we've been off kilter for a while now.

You know what I am talking about. Just pull up any news website and you'll find an over abundance of sad, sickening, even sadistic news stories. Not to mention the weather (at least in my part of the world) is simply abnormal it seems. You have to search a little harder for the good news, the positive, the inspiring stories. Maybe we, as society, just thrive on the negative. And what does that say about us?

A friend and I recently discussed all the "stuff" going on in our personal lives that was trying to bring us down. More examples of the screwy world in which we find ourselves. Last night I had to add another incident to the list. I hate to be one of "those" people who makes vague comments, posts, and blogs. However, in order to protect the privacy of the person I care about, I will be vague. We have not spoken about said person's condition an therefore I do not wish to be telling the world of things this person wishes to not share at this time. Regardless, a person I care for immensely is undergoing medical tests after an incident (how's THAT for vague?!). I find myself thinking "I'm not old enough for (fill in the blank) to be happening."

I'm not old enough for my friends/family/parents/children/former babysitees to be experiencing health conditions/graduations/marriage/death.I'm not old enough for this! Then I wonder if I will still be thinking the same thing when I am 50, 70, 90....

Reality check. I AM old enough. It IS happening. Whether I like it or not. And I don't like it. It's not that I'm getting "old," that doesn't bother me. It's all the stuff that is occurring. I don't like it.

I can talk with other people on a daily basis about their lives, but when it happens in mine- when my world gets flipped end for end, I don't feel equipped to handle it. I don't have the life experience necessary to comprehend the upsidedown-ness of my world. I can't make sense of the madness. And then I look at the wider world and see it isn't just my little slice of earth. The craziness is everywhere. And I tread a little more lightly, cut others a little more slack. I don't know how topsey turvey their lives are...

Wondering- 6 of 10

"It is more important to pave the way for the child to WANT to know than to put him in a diet of facts he is not ready to assimilate" (Rachel Carson, The Sense of Wonder, p. 56, emphasis added).

Whoa! Now that I am a parent, that statement really hits home. I want Punky to be curious and inquisitive and develop her own sense of wonder. I need to not get caught up in facts and statistics and the like.

It has been a long time since I have finished a whole book in one day, let alone one sitting as I did this one. I guess it helps that this book is mostly pictures, amazingly beautiful pictures. This book was sent to me by my cousin- a reminder that it is never too early to be sharing the wonders of our earth with my daughter. And share I will. Her first (out of womb) ocean experience is rapidly approaching. And while the beaches we will visit will be tainted by tourists, there will still b enough nature and naturalness to stimulate her wonder.

Self- thank you for sharing this book with us. I can see it becoming a favorite in our house too.

5 of 10

I actually managed to put Karen Vail aside and read something else on my shelf. Something educational to boot! Autism-Asperger's & Sexuality: Puberty and Beyond by Jerry and Mary Newport. A necessary read in my line of work. And an excellent read at that. Written by a married couple, both on the spectrum. A clear, simple explanation of necessary facts. Highly recommended for those on the spectrum or who have a loved one on the spectrum. Two thumbs up!

Lesson learned? I hope so.

Self-pity is a slimy, bottomless pit. Once you fall in, you tend to go deeper and deeper into the mire. As you slide down those slippery walls, you are well on your way to depression, and the darkness is profound.
Your only hope is to look up and see the Light of My Presence shining down on you. Though the Light looks dim from your perspective, deep in the pit, those rays of hope can reach you at any depth. While you focus on Me in trust, you rise ever so slowly out of the abyss of despair. Finally, you can reach up and grasp my hand. I will pull you out into the Light again. I will gently cleanse you, washing off the clinging mire. I will cover you with My righteousness and walk with you down the path of Life.
Jesus Calling, Sarah Young, July 16

Without going into unnecessary details, might I just say that this was a timely reminder. It is all too easy to focus on the bad, the disappointing, the frustrating negative aspects of life (at least when you tend to be a pessimist, even if you are a "happy pessimist!"). Instead, looking for that glimmer of hope, believing that everything happens for a reason, and repeating my personal mantra (EVERYTHING will be okay. Everything WILL be okay. Everything will be okay...) help that dark cloud pass by more quickly. I know I will never have the answers I seek. And, as difficult as that is to accept, I know searching and fretting will only result in further sinking. For now it is enough to know there is a reason and everything will be okay.

4 of 10?

Just finished reading "The Marvelous Land of Oz." by L. Frank Baum. Not sure of this technically counts as book four of ten or not. I believe it to be a stand alone book- however I am reading it as part of "The Complete Wizard of Oz Collection" on my NOOK. It follows after the classic tale of " The Wonderful Wizard of Oz." (Which I read a while back and then moved on to other things before returning to the Oz collection.) It is a fun little adventure that I can see sharing with Punky in the future. In fact, I may wait to read te rest of the collection until she can enjoy it with me...

So does this count as book four?

Oops

I couldn't do it! I just couldn't resist the temptation and ease of downloading book 1 in the Karen Vail series onto my NOOK.

I know! I know! I had this great goal of reading 10 books already on my shelves and of not buying any new books until I did so. And I failed! Alan Jacobson, you got me. I think it is official that I am hooked on FBI profiler Karen Vail. Book 1 in the series is The 7th Victim and begins the tale of the special agent. I would say it took me about halfway through the book before I got caught up in it. And the end- yep I was surprised! Well done Mr. Jacobson, well done.

Hmm, think I can get through another book already on my shelf? Or will I dive into book number three in the series?

Ouch!

I am Life and Light in abundance. As you spend time "soaking" in My Presence, you are energized and lightened. Through communing with Me, you transfer your heavy burdens to My strong shoulders. By gazing at Me, you gain My perspective on your life. This time alone with Me is essential for unscrambling your thoughts and smoothing out the day before you.

Be willing to fight for this precious time with Me. Opposition comes in many forms: your own desire to linger in bed; the evil one's determination to distract you from Me; the pressure of family, friends, and your own inner critic to spend your time more productively. As you grow in your desire to please Me above all else, you gain strength to resist these opponents. Delight yourself in Me, for I am the deepest Desire of your heart.

Jesus Calling, Sarah Young, July 1